When I first heard the word mentor, I pictured one person twenty years ahead of me, endlessly patient, always available, ideally with a corner office. That person is rare. Waiting for them can become a polite way to stay stuck.
Plenty of us are waiting. In a 2019 Olivet Nazarene University survey of more than 3,000 Americans, 76% said mentors are important, but only 37% currently had one.[1] That gap matters to leaders as well. In a 2022 PushFar survey, 86% of professionals said access to mentoring would be a factor in whether they stay with an organization.[2]
I know that gap from the inside, because I waited too. A few years into my career, I finally invited a few peers who were visibly growing to a monthly lunch, and when I told our head of HR, he said it was exactly what he wanted for our team. I tell the full story in my book, The Career Bridge, coming 2027, where Mentoring Is More Than One is also the name of a tool for choosing the right source for the growth you need.
What that lunch table taught me is that mentoring can come from across the desk, from beside you and from around a table. No one person has to carry all of your growth, and no one person can stall it.
“A connection adds to what you know, and a mentor changes what you do.”
Once you stop looking for the one perfect mentor, you start noticing how differently people can help. A peer a step or two ahead remembers what your next role felt like from the inside. A colleague in another part of the business can show you how your work looks to the rest of the company, and someone outside your company can ask the question nobody inside thinks to ask. Each of them sees a part of you the others miss.
Your manager belongs in that circle too, in a slightly different seat. A good manager can develop you well. A mentor outside your reporting line brings something else, because that person can think about who you are becoming without it touching this quarter's review. The two work best side by side.
With that many people to draw on, it helps to know what you are asking for. A connection adds to what you know, and a mentor changes what you do. Both matter, so before you reach out, decide which one you need right now. It might be advice on a decision, a skill to build, or help seeing what you are good at.
Leaders and HR can take heart here. Your people do not need a perfect mentoring program before they can benefit. Give them permission and a little room on the calendar, and they can start building something useful on their own, with your support behind it.
If you are still waiting, this month is a fine time to stop. Look for one or two people who are growing in ways you admire, and ask them to lunch!
Take the step for the day. Trust the process. Let's go!
Sources
Olivet Nazarene University, "Research Statistics on Professional Mentors," 2019.
PushFar, mentoring survey, 2022.