I like to start with a question. If your boss changed tomorrow, would your work get easier, harder or just different? Hold on to your answer, because it matters more than it might seem.
Gallup has found that managers account for at least 70% of the difference in engagement from one team to the next.[1] A lot of how Monday morning feels traces back to the person you report to. Organizational climate studies going back to the mid-1950s found that 60% to 75% of employees say the worst or most stressful part of their job is their immediate supervisor.[2]
I see hope in that number. When one relationship carries this much weight, a little effort on it goes a long way, and you have more say in it than you might think. Your boss very likely wants it to work too. Still, the easy thing is to show up, do good work and hope the relationship takes care of itself.
I know how easy it is, because I have done it. With one boss, our one-on-ones kept getting moved, until I learned this boss preferred drop-ins, so I brought my priorities to the hallway instead. Same purpose, different format. The rest of that story is in my book, The Career Bridge, coming 2027, along with The Partnership Playbook, a handful of moves for this relationship.
“Two imperfect people can build a very good working relationship as long as one of them is willing to go first.”
So where does that leave you? Start with curiosity about your boss's world, with its goals and pressures you may not see from where you sit. Managers are carrying a lot. Gallup's State of the Global Workplace 2026 report found that manager engagement worldwide fell from 27% to 22% between 2024 and 2025.[3] A question like "What are you being asked to deliver right now?" can open a door.
That question works because each of you needs the other. John Gabarro and John Kotter, writing in Harvard Business Review, described the relationship with a boss as one of mutual dependence.[4] Working with your boss on purpose, so you, your boss and the company all get good results, has nothing to do with politics or apple polishing.
The one-on-one is the natural place to put this to work. Steven Rogelberg, who studies these meetings, found that the biggest predictor of a successful one-on-one is how much the employee takes part, measured by how much of the time they spend talking. He puts the ideal anywhere from 50% to 90%.[5] Come with the agenda, and the meeting serves both of you.
Show up that way and the door swings both ways. I have watched a boss meet that curiosity by turning the question around, asking what they could do better. Two imperfect people can build a very good working relationship as long as one of them is willing to go first.
Going first can be small. Choose one question to bring to your next one-on-one. A good boss wants more for you than from you, and one day somebody is going to call you boss.
Take the step for the day. Trust the process. Let's go!
Sources
Gallup, "Indicator: Employee Engagement" and "Indicator: Leadership and Management". The finding first appeared in Jim Clifton and Jim Harter, It's the Manager (Gallup Press, 2019).
Robert Hogan, Gordon J. Curphy and Joyce Hogan, "What We Know About Leadership: Effectiveness and Personality," American Psychologist, 1994.
Gallup, State of the Global Workplace: 2026 Report.
John J. Gabarro and John P. Kotter, "Managing Your Boss," Harvard Business Review (HBR Classic reprint, January 2005).
Steven G. Rogelberg, "Make the Most of Your One-on-One Meetings," Harvard Business Review, November to December 2022.